Friday, June 29, 2018

CHARMS FOR PRIVATE PLACES

My knowledge of fashion and the latest fashion trends is very limited. I do not read fashion updates or eagerly await the arrival of new fashions at local women’s boutiques. My fashion expertise (or lack thereof) is tested in doctors’ offices where I peruse popular tabloids like People, lingering on the Who wears it better? page. I don’t always agree with the majority and sometimes don’t think either celebrity wore the outfit well.

But once in a while a fashion-related news story gets my attention, most recently an article about a jewelry fad – crotch charms. The account sparked my curiosity and led me to investigate additional jewelry produced for parts of the body women of the recent past (within my experience) never considered sporting, except perhaps for entertainers. 

Back to those crotch charms, called Beachtails by one company. Worn through the crotch of bikini bottoms, an ad announced, they can also be worn with panties, thongs/tangas and shorts.

The charms hang down on either side of the bikini bottoms between the thighs…How many women have slim enough, trim enough thighs that the charms are easily spotted? Sometimes they jangle when walking. How many women want attention drawn to that particular part of their body by the sound generated? A nice sound as opposed to an embarrassing one, but still… 

My research uncovered a sister item to Beachtails - the Ladies Clip - jewelry that goes inside the body. The crotch area. As opposed to Beachtails which remain outside the body. Should you want additional information on the Ladies Clip – I am woefully ignorant on details - check out Amazon. Yup, they are on sale at the one place you can find anything. The items ship from Japan. But you needn’t worry about the mail carrier, neighbors, friends or family finding out about your latest fashion craving. According to the ad, Shipping as "Fashion Straps" on customs declaration label. Brand name and logo…are invisible on envelope.

Another attention-grabbing piece of jewelry my investigation discovered are nipple nooses - matched pairs of jewelry for nipples. No piercing required. View examples hereDon’t want to attach the jewelry directly to your breasts? Then try a nipple ring bra! 

I am way past the age when I would consider this nonsense. However I never would have considered buying, trying, or adorning myself with any of these items. But reading about them and viewing charms for sale offered a diversion from real and fake news and household work, and provided lots of amusement. 

Our region is in the midst of a heat wave. I think I will walk down to the beach tomorrow, set up my beach chair and gaze at the scenery. You never know what I might see…

Do you think I have too much idle time on my hands?…

2 comments:

  1. I never heard (or saw) anything like this. I hope I never will! :-)

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  2. Oh good grief! Now that my boobs have dropped to the extent that I could probably tuck them into my waist band, I really don't need "nipple nooses". How about a derrick to hoist them back up to where they used to be? The derrick would have to come from behind and over the shoulder. Oy! =^..^=

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