Saturday, October 22, 2016

Ten Post-Election Pursuits for Donald Trump

Warning: This is a political post, sort of. I will not feel bad if you decide not to read further. I feel your agony, your anguish, your annoyance at the insanely drawn out contest culminating in a Presidential election. Americans also have the opportunity to vote for candidates vying for numerous down ballot offices: every member of the U.S. House of Representatives, one-third of the Senators, and various state and local positions. Finally, when the entire event is over, what we are all praying for will hopefully occur – a (temporary) reprieve from 24/7 political tirades. Most likely wishful thinking, but I am an optimist. I predict journalists, pundits and talking heads of all stripes, from the alt-right to the far left and everyone in between, will take time off for a few days, giving the rest of America a much-needed media vacation.

What I wish to discuss is not the pre-election hype, but life post-election.

The Big Question: What will The Donald do?

Speculation has begun, and I am jumping in with my:

Ten Possible Post-Election Pursuits for Donald Trump
 In no particular order:

* Fed up with campaigning and the public, Trump becomes a hermit, following the example of a past wealthy offbeat recluse, Howard Hughes. Trump never appears on a news program, talk show, radio broadcast, TV show, or any public media platform again. No longer subject to his rants and tweets, a collective sigh of relief is heard throughout the land.  

The Current Miss'd America
Drag Queen Mimi Imhurst
a.k.a. Braden Chapman
* Forming a band with sidekicks Rudy Giuliani and Newt Gingrich, Chris Christie and Roger Ailes providing backup, The Donald and Defenders are a conservative sensation. Their first major gig is the NRA national convention, April 2017, in Atlanta, GA. The group is also angling for a prime-time TV spot on the Miss America pageant in September 2017, followed by a performance at the Miss’d America contest sponsored by the Greater Atlantic City LGBT Alliance.

* Trump, unable to exit the limelight, fashions a media empire (a plan previously mentioned by astute observers).

* Trump begins divorce proceedings against wife #3, Melania. At the same time Melania files for divorce, then writes a tell-all book. To help jump-start her story, here is a list of ghostwriters. Or Melania can ask Michelle Obama who will be ghostwriting her FLOTUS book. Meanwhile Trump’s time is consumed seeking wife #4, his sexual exploits splashed all over the tabloids.

* Trump spends the first months of his newfound freedom dictating his account of the 2016 Presidential campaign, and then outsources (to India) production of the book, TV show, and movie versions.

* Enjoying campaigning so much, Trump again pursues political office, challenging Bill de Blasio for the job of mayor of New York City in 2017.

* The first six months post-election Trump remains in seclusion, no one sure where he is or what he is doing, eventually emerging unrecognizable from a luxury spa, flanked by a bevy of beautiful broads. He considers competing in one of the physically challenging reality TV shows such as Survivor or The Amazing Race, but decides against it. Instead he buys the shows.

* Trump moves to Russia. Putin allows Trump and his entourage to live in one of the old palatial residences attached to the Kremlin.

* Trump resurrects his brand, licensing his name to hotels, restaurants, furniture, clothing, and accessories, becoming the best radio and TV huckster ever, hawking goods in a never-ending series of commercials and infomercials on FOX networks to die-hard supporters.

* Trump buys H&R Block and becomes their #1 tax consultant.

What do YOU think Trump’s next move will be?


  1. Well, if I could only vote for the hermit option and never hearing from or of him again...Ahh, that would be an election worth rigging.

  2. I also vote for the hermit option. Unfortunately, something tells me that he will never go away. This man needs an audience, regardless of what he has to do to get one.

  3. He needs to spend it in jail for fomenting hatred.

  4. Trump would make a great drag queen.

  5. Would love to see him just crawl under a rock somewhere and let experienced people sort out our government.