One (of many) Expensive Items I Will Never Buy

Our dishwasher is in hospice mode. It lived a long, low-maintenance life, and although we will be sorry to see it go, it is time. A small mat underneath the door catches dripping water, and the machine groans, "Another wash, you filling me up again? Enough! I am ready for the appliance graveyard. Take me there. Please..."

I am honoring my dishwasher's wishes.

The dishwasher was the reason hub and I found ourselves in an appliance store one afternoon. We are not finicky shoppers and do not want or need lots of bells and whistles we will not use. It is just hub and I at home. Company descends occasionally. We can handle the influx with less-than-top-of-the-line appliances.

It did not take long to choose a dishwasher. And an oven.

Did I mention we also need an oven? Not in appliance hospice yet, the oven is in the assisted-living phase. Peeling enamel, inoperative self-cleaning mechanism…Signs for sales on certain items greeted our entrance into the store. My first choice dishwasher displayed a price beyond our budget, but the sale price placed it within range. Only one oven model met our requirements. We bought it.

Hub and I made our way to the sales desk to complete paperwork. Next to the counter a display of shiny new small appliances caught my eye. I wandered over to the sleek, stainless steel toasters, one a two slicer and another a four-slice model.

I carefully examined one of the models, but could not find a price. Curious I asked the salesman. He looked at me and said, "two ninety nine and three ninety nine."

I stared at him a few seconds and muttered, "You mean three hundred and four hundred dollars?"

"Yes."

Who pays that kind of money for a toaster? What unique accouterments could a toaster possess that would command such a price?

Hub purchased our current toaster at our neighborhood Rite Aid. He walked down the street and returned a few minutes later with a $7.99 white toaster.

“Couldn't find anything plainer or cheaper?” I asked somewhat sarcastically.

But it works.

I realize some people have an incredible amount of money, but...My six-plus decades of prudent living cannot bring myself to pay that amount of money for a toaster. Call me cheap, thrifty, miserly, whatever. Cannot do it, no matter how much money I might have. Even if I win the lottery, a $300 toaster will not be on my wish list.

A few days later our new purchases arrived. Two repairmen removed the old appliances and installed the new oven. Then they unpacked the dishwasher.

Uh oh. The machine was damaged, and the installer immediately agreed to return it. Unfortunately the local warehouse did not have a replacement in stock.

So now there is a hole in my kitchen. I wash dishes the old fashioned way. By hand. In the sink. And plan meals using as few utensils, pots, etc. as possible.

Delivery and installation is scheduled for next week. I could call the store and ask to add a toaster to my order, since the truck is returning to my house anyway. (Armed guards might be necessary so no one steals the precious item.) It would be a conversation piece if situated on my kitchen counter. I know relatives and friends would think me nuts.

There are a lot of things I will never buy, even if money was not an issue. I guess a toaster tops my list, just one of many expensive items I can easily live without.