Friday, July 3, 2015

The Latest Cover Girl

Caitlyn Jenner on the cover of a sophisticated glossy women’s magazine, Vanity Fair, was  a confounding experience.

She is 65.

I am 65.

I do not look anything like her.

If she represents the new 65, I embody an older model.

We have some things in common. My hair is not gray, thanks to my hairdresser.

OK, we have one thing in common.

She worked hard becoming Caitlyn, imbibing hormones and botox and surgeries and, with the help of full-time professionals, learned how to become one of the sophisticated women that grace the pages of elegant, stylish magazines like Vanity Fair.

I do not know if the cover was photo shopped. But apparently Caitlyn has no wrinkles, no cellulite, no sagging neck, no flabby underarms, no drooping boobs, no knobby, creased knees or elbows, nothing to indicate she is a member of the baby boomer generation.

Honestly, not knowing anything about the person, staring at the picture, how old would someone estimate she is?

I bet no one would guess close to 65.

A picture inside the magazine shows her in a long gown, back to the camera, gazing out a window. I see a tiny waist, tight butt, and long slim legs…

I bet most of us with full-time professional assistance can look a few years younger, but we can never erase decades from our bodies.

Few of us live in a Caitlyn/Bruce world. No reality show documents our life, no Olympic medals adorn our mantle. Journalists do not line up at our door for exclusive interviews. Our kids do not have their own reality shows and do not cavort on the pages of People and other magazines.

But real life is not a reality show. The players may make oodles of money as cameras document their sham life, but their real real life is often a sad fractured fairytale.

I hope Caitlyn enjoys her new body and her new life.

Someone can keep me informed on her progress. I only read People and similar magazines in doctors’ offices, and have no plans to visit one soon. I got my fill of celebrity hype my last visit. Celebrity clothes (who wears it better?), celebrity kids and their clothes, celebrity couples dating, separating or divorcing, exes fighting…

All caught on camera in exotic vacation spots or in-places for dining and clubbing.

I added a headache to my list of maladies.

I am glad Caitlyn can now be the person she has always longed to be.

Thinking about it, Caitlyn is not really the new 65.

She is just the new Caitlyn.