I tried. I really did.
But I cannot keep up with high tech. I am tech challenged.
Laptop, iPad, Kindle, Nook, cell phone, smartphone, smarter phones, apps, infinity, Xfinity…
My life may be imperfect because I cannot keep up with the latest gadgets, but I am willing to accept the consequences.
I want my plain vanilla life back.
I do not care if the speed of my gadgets increases from one something-or-other per second to a bigger (or should it be smaller…) nano number. It will not change my life, for better or for worse.
I do not care if the number of pixels increase, enhancing picture definition. My eyes are going anyway. It will not change my life, for better or worse.
I am tired of upgrading software every time I turn on an electronic gadget. My smartphone indicates 14 upgrades pending for various apps. The programs work, for now. Upgrades will not change my life.
The electronic age did not totally pass me by, but did not sweep me off my feet. My gadgets and I have not lived happily ever after. Our relationship has been tentative and at times rocky.
Over the years we dated, sometimes content with our relationship, even happy.
But it never lasts.
My gadgets demand more of me.
And I cannot always accommodate. I am tired, have a headache, am busy doing other things, yearn for a vacation, get annoyed at tech’s idiosyncrasies. The frustration level with my electronic partners soars when things do not transpire the way they are supposed to.
Discussing the problem does not help. They do what they want to do when they want to do it, selfish, ungrateful, stubborn gadgets with a psyche I do not understand.
Yet I will not abandon electronics completely. I do not want to be isolated in a world where everyone around me is connected.
How would I spend the time waiting in a doctor’s office? I noticed recently professional offices receive fewer magazines nowadays. People no longer need external stimulus to pass the time. They bring their entertainment with them.
What would I do while everyone else at a restaurant is checking email or texting? I could actually talk to the other people at my table, but they would not pay attention, their heads buried in a phone.
What other items in my home would entertain the grandkids? Card games and board games work sometimes, but nothing generates as much excitement as looking at Grandma’s pictures on her phone, taking pictures with Grandma’s phone, or surreptitiously downloading games on Grandma’s smartphone or iPad.
My new phone – over a year old – is at least two G's behind (tech talk, do not ask me to define G's). But it works fine. It rings, I can answer it, talk, take pictures, look at my pictures, check emails, text and message, check the latest news. I am a veritable 21st century techie.
Until the real 21st century techies – usually the grandkids – utilize their gadgets.
Do you use Siri? We never communicate. I guess we have nothing in common.
Do you Kevo? Uh, no, not yet. I open my door the old fashioned way – with a metal key.
Do you twitter/Facebook/Instagram/Pinterest/…? I do, I try, but not as much as I could/should. Where do people get the time to find out about these apps, learn how to use them, actually use them, post items, look for stuff?…I get a headache thinking about it all.
In many ways, however, my phone has become another body appendage. If I leave the house without it I feel, well, naked. I probably will not need it, but I might. What happens if the car breaks down? I must notify AAA and hub. What if hub realizes we are out of ice cream? He can text me and I will make an emergency stop on my way home.
In summary, while light years (or is it megabyte years?) behind dedicated tech users, I am a tech consumer. An unskilled, inept one, but a user nevertheless.
I have surrendered to the tech demons.
I ask my gadgets one favor. Be kind. Be patient of my electronic weaknesses.
But of course electronic gadgets cannot be kind. Or unkind. Or patient. They are not human.
One day in the not-to-far-distant-future a gadget will find an agreeable lawyer to file a legal case on their behalf. Before we know it the Supreme Court will declare that electronic gadgets are people, too.
It happened with corporations. It could happen with our gadgets. Remember that the next time you want to smash yours in frustration.