Tuesday, October 8, 2013

My Dream List of Desired Talents


We all have special gifts and talents. In my sixties I am still unsure exactly what my unique ones are, but I am working hard at finding out. It is a lot easier to figure out what gifts I do not possess.

This line of thought began while visiting the new homes of friends who just moved. The enthusiastic homeowners are working hard on achieving Architectural Digest perfection. I marvel at the creativity, insight, oversight, and their pocketbooks while watching the transformation.

I have no decorating talent; on a scale from one to ten I would probably rate a minus three. I do not care whether everything coordinates, and although I love add-ons such as built-in bookcases and closet contraptions, I rarely think about actually installing them in my house, or more realistically contracting others to do the work.

Anyway, there are a lot of skills and wondrous gifts many possess, but not I. Some are not missed, but I would enjoy a few.

So here are talents I lack, but would be nice to have.

Any kind of artistic aptitude. I cannot draw, paint, sculpt, or do any kinds of crafts. Recently a friend tried to teach me to knit, but finally gave up. I have two left hands, uncoordinated fingers, minimal patience, and my eyes began to cross as I attempted to stitch.

Singing talent, or at least the ability to carry a tune. I am tone deaf and, although enjoy belting out my favorite oldies, sound absolutely horrible. I cannot tell the difference, but those around me suffer. I must control myself and limit my singing to soundproofed rooms or the great outdoors where no one roams, such as the middle of the desert. But I hate the heat and too much sun is not good for anyone. So I confine my singing to those soundproofed rooms and when alone in my car.

Minimal mechanical skill. I am mechanically challenged, the benchmark for zero on a scale of one to ten for mechanical aptitude.

Athletic prowess of any kind. I do not have a body built for running; big boobs and short legs do not equate with racing speed. Any sport where hand/eye coordination is necessary, such as tennis, volleyball, baseball or even croquet, makes me the laughing stock of the playing field. I like swimming, but conditions, indoors or out, must be perfect – the air and water not too cold and not too hot.

And so I sit at my kitchen counter/desk, thoughts returning to my decorating ineptitude, observing my house. It is a cute little place we moved into 3 ½ years ago. I bought curtains for the guest room, but they sit on the dresser waiting to be installed. The bottom of my closet is a mountain of shoes, clothes that fell off hangars, and miscellaneous items tossed in because I was in a hurry or did not know what else to do with them.

There are still boxes in the garage to unpack. I do not have enough places for the stuff already in the house. Somehow I manage to go on day by day without whatever remains packed away. And although looking around you would not know it, I am not a fan of clutter.

Friends and family living in beautifully appointed homes could give me a few tips, I am sure.

And maybe eventually, one day, I will ask them for ideas.

Did I mention one of my unhelpful gifts talents traits is procrastination?