Monday, September 30, 2013

The Start of My F**ket List

The cover of David's book.
A friend of mine, Dr. David Stameshkin, recently wrote a book titled My F**ket List. Newly retired, he thought about starting a second career and considered vocations contemplated when a young man. The book discusses why he will not begin another career in any of these occupations. David has a great sense of humor and his book can be purchased from Amazon here.

Reading the book started me thinking about my own f**ket list. So here are the first items on my absolutely never going to do before I croak list:

Run a marathon, half marathon, 10K, 5K or any kind of running race or fun run (what is fun about running anyway?).

Learn to bake. I always thought it would be fun to take cooking classes and learn to make decorative petit fours and fancy desserts. But I cannot in good conscience serve my family yummy foods laden with sugar, fat and loads of calories. Not to mention the fact that I should not eat them either. And how can I make and not taste a treat or two or three?
Luscious desserts I will never make.
Downhill ski. I do not want to break a leg or any other part of my body, if I can help it, and end up in a cast or traction for months. As we age it takes longer to heal. Hub and I transitioned from downhill to cross country skiing and snowshoeing. Accidents can still happen, but hopefully the damage would be minimized. 
Not me, but could be. 
Wear high heels. I loved wearing high heels for years, decades actually, but now as I teeter atop stilettos I worry about falling or tripping. And walking more than a couple of steps hurts my feet.

Stay up 24 hours. I have never been an epic non-sleeper, and as I age I really, really need, want and love my sleep.

Sew. Anything. I no longer own needles and thread.

Work at Chico’s. I considered getting a job at Chico’s when we relocated to the shore. I love their clothes and would love their employee discount even more. But I realized I would not make a good saleswoman. For starters I am not very good at lying. Seeing someone walk out of a dressing room in a loud print that screams Halloween party! and having to say – that is so you and fits so well and you can wear it to work – I cannot do it. Another reason the job would not work out is because, although I am not afraid of computers, I find cash registers intimidating. A third reason: I buy when items are on sale as much as possible. I enter stores and walk directly to the clearance rack. Salespeople are not supposed to steer customers in that direction. I am sure they are trained to build outfits, showing additional pieces to add to the one item a customer walked in for. Nevertheless I will continue shopping at Chico’s, but will not apply for employment.

Buy another house or condo. After living through a life of mainly housing downs, including: three and a half wonderful years of shore living entailing the loss of electricity several times, evacuating twice because of hurricanes and incurring thousands of dollars in damage following Hurricane Sandy; a housing crash in the 2000s; a housing and economic slump and outrageously high mortgage rates in the 1980s, moving several times, packing and unpacking, upsizing and downsizing, I have had enough.

There are other things I absolutely am never going to do. I will add items as they come to mind.

But unlike other lists, nothing gets crossed off this one.


  1. I think, possibly, except for baking, my list is exactly the same as yours! WILL NOT SKI or even VISIT places where ski ing happens. Chicos: 'nuf said, if you love their clothes you have CONSIDERED working there, but like you, I buy off the sales rack only and my local consignment store always has tons of gently used chico's clothes in the unlikley event there is ANY ROOM LEFT in my closet for them!

    HATE to sew. DO NOT WANT T OMOVE EITHER.. moved a LOT in this lifetime, just might need to be done.

    I might also NEVER go to EUROPE.I love beaches, and if I have not gone to Europe by now, at age 60, It seems I do not really want to go.If I have time and money I almost always choose a beach destination. I am a "lazy" traveler.. I go for relaxation and sea breezes, not culture. (So sue me..)

    Love your blog!

  2. Another thing about advancing in years is that there are some things that other people don't want you to do either. I think anyone would be happy not to watch me run.

  3. This is an interesting idea. I plan to avoid any activity that has a high probability of resulting in a broken bone. Baking and sewing are things I will continue to do. I gave up running years ago--probably saved my knees--but I'll keep on taking long walks at a brisk pace. Moving,,,I think there is one more in the cards for me.

  4. I hear you on all counts. There are some thing that should be left undone.

  5. OH, this is a good idea, thinking about what I will NOT be doing in my old age. I enjoyed your list very much. :-)

  6. What a great idea especially since I haven't made a dent in my bucket list. This one seems easier to do.
    My main one would be to never be an employee ever again.

  7. I love the concept, love the list. I would add a few more in another area -- never feel guilty again, or anxious, or inadequate, or embarrassed, and never again worry about trying to be cool.

  8. This is wonderful, and thank you for brightening my day. Dianne