|The cover of David's book.|
A friend of mine, Dr. David Stameshkin, recently wrote a book titled My F**ket List. Newly retired, he thought about starting a second career and considered vocations contemplated when a young man. The book discusses why he will not begin another career in any of these occupations. David has a great sense of humor and his book can be purchased from Amazon here.
Reading the book started me thinking about my own f**ket list. So here are the first items on my absolutely never going to do before I croak list:
Run a marathon, half marathon, 10K, 5K or any kind of running race or fun run (what is fun about running anyway?).
Learn to bake. I always thought it would be fun to take cooking classes and learn to make decorative petit fours and fancy desserts. But I cannot in good conscience serve my family yummy foods laden with sugar, fat and loads of calories. Not to mention the fact that I should not eat them either. And how can I make and not taste a treat or two or three?
Downhill ski. I do not want to break a leg or any other part of my body, if I can help it, and end up in a cast or traction for months. As we age it takes longer to heal. Hub and I transitioned from downhill to cross country skiing and snowshoeing. Accidents can still happen, but hopefully the damage would be minimized.
Wear high heels. I loved wearing high heels for years, decades actually, but now as I teeter atop stilettos I worry about falling or tripping. And walking more than a couple of steps hurts my feet.
Stay up 24 hours. I have never been an epic non-sleeper, and as I age I really, really need, want and love my sleep.
Sew. Anything. I no longer own needles and thread.
Work at Chico’s. I considered getting a job at Chico’s when we relocated to the shore. I love their clothes and would love their employee discount even more. But I realized I would not make a good saleswoman. For starters I am not very good at lying. Seeing someone walk out of a dressing room in a loud print that screams Halloween party! and having to say – that is so you and fits so well and you can wear it to work – I cannot do it. Another reason the job would not work out is because, although I am not afraid of computers, I find cash registers intimidating. A third reason: I buy when items are on sale as much as possible. I enter stores and walk directly to the clearance rack. Salespeople are not supposed to steer customers in that direction. I am sure they are trained to build outfits, showing additional pieces to add to the one item a customer walked in for. Nevertheless I will continue shopping at Chico’s, but will not apply for employment.
Buy another house or condo. After living through a life of mainly housing downs, including: three and a half wonderful years of shore living entailing the loss of electricity several times, evacuating twice because of hurricanes and incurring thousands of dollars in damage following Hurricane Sandy; a housing crash in the 2000s; a housing and economic slump and outrageously high mortgage rates in the 1980s, moving several times, packing and unpacking, upsizing and downsizing, I have had enough.
There are other things I absolutely am never going to do. I will add items as they come to mind.
But unlike other lists, nothing gets crossed off this one.