Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Questions I am Afraid to Ask My Chiropractor

I am crooked.

People have been telling me so for the past couple of weeks.

My body leans to the right.
My body leans right.

Is this a permanent new condition? It does not hurt, and I do not feel any different.

I recently sought the assistance of a chiropractor to help avoid or at least delay what is beginning to look like a body moving slowly but steadily towards a downward, lopsided trajectory.

Previous experience with chiropractors is limited. The first time was decades ago. Hub and I were painting a room and my job was the ceiling, reaching above my head with the roller. When finished I sat down on the floor to relax and watch TV. Attempting to move a couple of hours later, I shrieked in pain. It was difficult inching to the car and eventually the chiropractor’s office. After adding up the medical bills, hub figured it would have been a lot cheaper to hire a painter.

I have been to a chiropractor once or twice since. Until this week. Hub persuaded me, thinking my misalignment was temporary.
This is NOT my chiropractor.
It took a long time to figure out what might have happened. About three weeks ago I was in the garden. We have some raised beds, and I tripped and fell over one of the wood edgings. At the time I only scraped my hands and forgot about it. Sometimes, however, it takes several days for the results of a fall or similar accident to emerge.

A trip to the chiropractor showed a twisted pelvis rubbing on nerves.

After a couple of adjustments I am straighter, although not perfect – yet.

But I am beginning to wonder if a right lean is permanent.

This brings up a host of questions I cannot answer (and will not ask my chiropractor). The most important, provocative, and life-changing question of all:

If I tilt right must I become conservative?

A political right-wing conservative?

Religious conservative?

Will the Tea Party solicit me as one of them?

Will I have to drink tea more often than when eating Chinese food or when ill?

Will I have to stop watching MSNBC, whose motto is lean forward? I can do that, but will my right lean overshadow my forward lean? I do not want to abandon Morning Joe for Fox News.

Must I forego my liberal leanings?

Must I dress conservatively?

Drive conservatively? Sitting in the driver’s seat, leaning right, will I be able to see out the windshield?

Time will tell if my physical tilt affects my political and social life.

I just hope my right orientation is not too far right by the next election.


  1. You are so funny. Pretend you are a race car driver and only go left!!! Hugs and hope you get your affairs straightened out real soon!!!

  2. Glad you're laughing -- it helps!

  3. You are leaning right? Well, if you look at yourself in the mirror, everything will be left... right? :-)

  4. First of all, patients would be terrified to visit a chiropractor if they used hammers, and saws on their procedures. Haha! Anyway, I think as long as it doesn’t bother you at all, then you don’t need it fixed. But our body‘s health is very important, and we don’t want minor flaws to escalate into something worse. Anyway, thanks for sharing this with us. Have a great day!

    Jacqueline Hodges @ Back and Neck Center of Brick