Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Questions I am Afraid to Ask My Chiropractor

I am crooked.

People have been telling me so for the past couple of weeks.

My body leans to the right.
My body leans right.

Is this a permanent new condition? It does not hurt, and I do not feel any different.

I recently sought the assistance of a chiropractor to help avoid or at least delay what is beginning to look like a body moving slowly but steadily towards a downward, lopsided trajectory.

Previous experience with chiropractors is limited. The first time was decades ago. Hub and I were painting a room and my job was the ceiling, reaching above my head with the roller. When finished I sat down on the floor to relax and watch TV. Attempting to move a couple of hours later, I shrieked in pain. It was difficult inching to the car and eventually the chiropractor’s office. After adding up the medical bills, hub figured it would have been a lot cheaper to hire a painter.

I have been to a chiropractor once or twice since. Until this week. Hub persuaded me, thinking my misalignment was temporary.
This is NOT my chiropractor.
It took a long time to figure out what might have happened. About three weeks ago I was in the garden. We have some raised beds, and I tripped and fell over one of the wood edgings. At the time I only scraped my hands and forgot about it. Sometimes, however, it takes several days for the results of a fall or similar accident to emerge.

A trip to the chiropractor showed a twisted pelvis rubbing on nerves.

After a couple of adjustments I am straighter, although not perfect – yet.

But I am beginning to wonder if a right lean is permanent.

This brings up a host of questions I cannot answer (and will not ask my chiropractor). The most important, provocative, and life-changing question of all:

If I tilt right must I become conservative?

A political right-wing conservative?

Religious conservative?

Will the Tea Party solicit me as one of them?

Will I have to drink tea more often than when eating Chinese food or when ill?

Will I have to stop watching MSNBC, whose motto is lean forward? I can do that, but will my right lean overshadow my forward lean? I do not want to abandon Morning Joe for Fox News.

Must I forego my liberal leanings?

Must I dress conservatively?

Drive conservatively? Sitting in the driver’s seat, leaning right, will I be able to see out the windshield?

Time will tell if my physical tilt affects my political and social life.

I just hope my right orientation is not too far right by the next election.