Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Dialogue of a Married Couple


The couple is driving together.

Wife: “I’m tired of getting the cars fixed. They are beginning to nickel and dime us to death. It is time to buy a new one.”

Husband: “I like my red car.”

 “I like my red car.”

 “So then it’s settled.”

“What?”

“We just spent money fixing my car. What would Tomasello’s do without us?”

“They’ll survive. We’ll keep one of the cars.”

A few moments of silence.

Husband: “But…”

Wife: “I am tired of spending money every month fixing one or the other car. I want a reliable car when we travel. I was holding my breath the last time I drove to the airport.”

“The sound bothered you?”

“I was worried the car wouldn’t make it.”

“But I like my car.”

“The air conditioning doesn’t work.”

“Your car barely cools down in the summer.”

She gives him a withering look.

Husband: “Maybe we should trade both in. You think we can manage with one car?”

Wife: “If we have to. We don’t have to…Do you realize you went right through the stop sign?”

“Where? No...I don’t want to spend the money.”

“Me either.”

They both sigh and sit silently for a couple of minutes.

He: “It’s settled. We’ll keep both cars.”

She: “One has 165,000 miles and the other 111,000.”

“Isn’t that great? Mine is going to make 200,000!”

Her eyes roll.

He: “I have no idea what I want.” Pauses, then, “We’ll start looking.”

She: “Any idea what we want?”

“There’s no rush…What do you want?”

“Small, gets good gas mileage, new or low mileage.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m tired of red cars.”

She: “I loved my red Saturn.”

“I hate buying cars. They make it so difficult. I just want to go in, get a price, make a decision. I don’t want to play games or negotiate.”

“GM screwed up.” (FYI: Saturn set car prices and did not bargain or negotiate.)

“There’s the place. Hungry?”

He: “I can always eat…”