Friday, March 25, 2011

Car Seats for Seniors

There was a segment on the news recently concerning new car seat regulations for kids. The latest recommendations assert toddlers should not be turned around, facing forward, until they are two years old. That alarms me. Who knows what mischief a child can get into? The driver won’t have a clue what might be happening.
The second change suggested children continue using booster seats between the ages of 8 and 12 years old or until they are 4 foot 11 inches tall. That started me thinking.
What happens when seniors start to shrink and fall below the 4’11” threshold? Will we need booster seats?
I have a couple of car seats in the garage for my current and future grandkids. I assumed they would be given away when the kids outgrew them. I am having second thoughts. Maybe I should keep one for myself. I doubt my hub will shrink that much; he is about 5 foot 9 or 10 inches tall. I am barely 5 foot 2 inches and foresee the time the top of my head barely scrapes the 5 foot marker on my doctor’s scale.
Will police give out tickets to short seniors? I think the entire state of Florida will have to be placed under protective custody until we get this seat thing figured out. 

How often do you drive Florida roads and wonder if there is anyone behind the wheel? Diminutive men and women barely able to see out the windshield cruise around clocking 30 miles per hour in the passing lane of the expressway, oblivious to the chaos and honking horns around them.
 Will Congress mandate the use of booster seats for seniors in taxis and limousines?   

Will our personal seats have to be inspected? Will we need extra ones so friends can drive with us? Or will we carry around our own personal booster seat, a light-weight, collapsible model with a handsomely designed, monogrammed case?
Now I have one more issue to worry about. 

I have to monitor my descent so I will know when to begin using my elevated seat.
Young, hip marketers will invent catchy advertising slogans like…
Raise the Roof for Grandma
Can you see me now?  
Sit Down and You’re Almost Standing Up!
And the safety message: Boost her or lose her.